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The death of a life partner is heartbreaking. After a spouse dies, many people wonder how to even begin to rebuild their life. Of course there needs to be a period for grieving, which is a time when life sometimes seems to stop in many ways. Although other family and friends may seem to have moved on with their lives, someone who has recently lost a life partner will likely need more time to return to being fully involved in life.
In addition to the pain of losing a love, there are innumerable life adjustments that need to be made: preparing meals alone and eating alone; taking care of all the household and financial tasks alone; possibly needing to learn new skills in order to accomplish the added responsibilities; sleeping alone. These and many other changes that occur after the death of a life partner can feel painful, frustrating and confusing. Other people may have advice about how to move forward, and about what you "should" do at this point, which can be helpful sometimes, but other times it may just feel uncomfortable.
If you have recently lost your life partner, it's important to know that every person grieves in their own way and in their own time, and that there are no rules for this process. The way that your partner died, the type of relationship you had, the type of social support you receive, whether you or not you have a job outside your home, your culture and family background, and your own psychology and personal response to loss, all influence how you respond to this life-altering loss.
After you have moved through the grieving process, and you are ready to begin thinking about a new chapter of your life, you may experience mixed emotions. There can be excitement about the prospect of starting a new life where you can make what ever decisions you choose, but there may also be feelings of guilt. All of these complex feelings and issues are to be expected, and are a normal part of rebuilding your life. Turning Point Life Coaching can be there to guide and support you as you move forward to re-create your life.
Audrey Berger, PhD - Life Coach